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 Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?

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SnarkyCupcake
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PostSubject: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:55 am

Does spanking or smacking really correct bad behavior?
What does spanking/smacking entail?
Do parents really have the right to spank/smack their child?




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ash.elle
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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:19 am

I don't know much in terms of how much it really helps. I would think if anything all it really does is cause kids to be scared they're going to get hurt if they do something wrong. I suppose that's the whole point but I think there are better ways of dealing with behaviour issues. If it's done correctly I'm not against it, but I feel like alot of parents spank out of anger and that just completely defeats the purpose and turns it into a form of child abuse. 
I personally like time out. It takes like 4 or 5 times and usually thats all thats needed because kids absolutely hate it. I haven't had to do time out in a long time simply because my daughter doesn't feel like sitting in a corner for 10 minutes lol
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Freebird
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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Mon Nov 02, 2015 12:08 pm

I was spanked, many of my friends were spanked and our generation was the last that had real respect. I didn't spank my daughter, I never needed to, she is still a good kid and respectful. I am not against spanking in certain circumstances but it should be the last resort. I just get really angry with parents who are too weak and fluffy with their kids. You know the ones....now sweetie stop pulling the dogs tail, he doesn't like it.....hunny what did I say, you shouldn't pull the dogs tail....sweetie you really need to stop that and listen to mommy....blah blah blah in a sugary soft voice that makes me want to smack the mother across the head! I don't know if it's bad,weak, parenting or society but in general younger people have a serious lack of respect and sense of entitlement that is kind of mind blowing. There are times when a spank is needed, or something else. When we were looking after the grandkids the younger one was pretty violent and out of control and when he bit me, not for the first time, I grabbed his arm and bit him. Not enough to leave a mark but enough to let him know it fucking hurt and it's not funny at all.
Honestly, sometimes a spank is needed,a spank, NOT a beating!
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prdlatinamami
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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Mon Nov 02, 2015 6:35 pm

I was spanked as a child and I agree we knew respect. Kids now a days are rude and have no respect and also get away with stuff. If I did the shit kids do now a days my ass would red for days. I don't spank my kids, they get grounded from things which I have found works best for my kids.

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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:54 pm

I agree with Lisa & Valerie---
I think a smack occasionally
is needed and useful.
Now, if you're always popping them for
just anything..I doubt that will do much good.
I only popped my nephew once when he was young(I think he was like 4 or 5 at the time)
and I still remember it to this day. It broke my heart. But he was
being a little butt....I never had to pop him again....he'll be 25 on Dec. 29th.
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SnarkyCupcake
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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:06 am

I think a quick bop on the butt might get their attention at the time if they are doing something bad or putting themselves in danger, but it doesn't correct bad behavior at all.
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epiod
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PostSubject: Re: Does Spanking Really Correct Bad Behavior?   Tue Nov 03, 2015 5:46 pm

This is such a touchy subject for some people.  Many parents are afraid to spank their children anymore for fear of repercussions from law and society both.  I understand why laws were made to be more strict because their was a lot of abuse that stemmed from spankings and behind it all I think it was intended to protect defenseless children from actual physical abuse.  What people forget is that in most states spanking itself is not illegal provided that they are not physically hurt in the process or have bruising from the force of a spanking. To an extent a spanking here and there will help them learn respect but it should only be a last solution and there are many other ways that are less violent to get the same outcome.

When someone spanks their child all the time I don't think it really helps with behavior.  It will make the child fear the parent and in some cases it makes bad behavior worse. 

 If a child is afraid of mom or dad they will be less likely to go to them when they have a problem, they feel guilty and want to come clean about something or just to get advise, because they don't know how the parent will react to what they have to say and if they will be punished.  It's not a parent's job to be the "friend" but at the same time your children need to know that they can trust you and that you will be just with them if they do a misdeed.  Children need to be heard.

Also if you spank all the time that has the potential to set the bar for how they perceive themselves and how they will allow others to treat them.  If you get hit no matter what your age is you are going to feel bad about yourself.  If you are hit often then you will then get it into your head that is what you deserve.  That then has the potential to hinder future relationships.  As an adult you might find yourself the victim in an abusive relationship.  They might see the abuse as normal, they did grow up in that environment and would think that they deserve it.  Or you could have them switch roles and become the abuser because for once in their life they want the control.  Not everyone who is spanked fall into these stereotypes but it is common.

Then we have the level of understanding to discuss.  I know people who have popped their childs butt for doing something... the thing is that the child didn't understand what they did wrong because of their level of understanding.  You can't have the expectations that a five year old is supposed to have the same level of understanding with a certain situation that you would expect of a ten year old.  So then the spanking in my opinion doesn't help because the child doesn't understand what they did or why they are being punished.

When discussing the topic of spankings no one ever asks if special needs children should be spanked.  It's always children as a whole.  My question is this.  Is it okay to physically discipline a child with a handicap?
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